i'm still here

they had me fooled. and worried about joauquin's mental health - for real! what an epic

on-camera melt-down. kudos for thinking outside the box, and making an excellent commentary on today's society.

observations:

1) the role of media in presenting the world to the brainless, gullible masses

2) drugs do fuck you up - the damaging easiness of drug abuse is simply scary (even if pretended in the movie)

3) there's an abundance of cold-hearted individuals, always ready to judge

4) virtually complete lack of concern about a human at his lowest - very disturbing

5) media's widely acknowledged violation of one's privacy and dignity

6) truth? what truth?

7) context? what context?

8) he really can't rap :)

9) joauquin phoenix - staying in character for over a year in order to make this crazy documentary (barely anybody will go to see), being on top and risking his career to make a point, massive beard, tangled hair and beer belly, making a fool out of himself so convincingly, finally, putting his heart into this project from start to end - priceless!

and this is what the director, casey affleck had to say about the whole thing:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/09/casey_affleck_levels_about_im.html

gone baby gone

in 2007 i heard that ben affleck made 'gone baby gone'. i also heard that it was yet another flick full of tough guys using 'fuck you' as a comma. well, i must have been high. or drunk. out of my mind. distracted. wrong. they must have been talking about a different movie altogether.. what a wasted 3 years without seeing this brilliant feature. and if ben affleck was not so damn handsome, i would surely advise him to stay behind the camera - forever. he managed to prove it again with 'the town'. he'll shut everybody up when at some point he makes a third movie, not based in boston, and not about the place he grew up in and knows inside out. but yet another movie about different aspects of human nature, with all its undertones, and still distinctly important. i had no idea he was so observant, intriguing, willing to discuss life's dilemmas, disturbing moral issues, without lectures and sparing the empty commentaries. at the same time, skillfully capturing the subtle moments between people, intimate looks, bonding embraces, touches that say more than words. his movies concentrate on tangible issues - a missing child, bank robbers - but gain artistry and depth by portraying a whole spectrum of emotions and fleeting feelings - love, anger, disappointment, fear.. viewer's attention stays with the characters, wearing their dark worn-out hoodies, as they glide through the story with irresistible street-smart charm, a certain aura of dignity, honesty, and unsettling angst.

my favorite scene from 'gone baby gone' takes place in a white empty hospital corridor. patrick has just killed a child molester in a violent break in, and is now standing in a blood-stained t-shirt, staring at his own reflection in a hospital window. he's visibly shaken by recent events and tries to pull himself together. angie comes up to him and tells him she's proud of him, and then in a gentle whisper 'let's go home'. with her hand, she lightly touches his neck, his brown hair, and patrick closes his tired eyes, soothed and relieved for a split second . a soft yet reassuring secret gesture.

what?

ps. with my alcohol clouded mind, i forgot to tip javier (bardem)! so much for drinking to bad memory.. must go back and fix this.

frrriday

it is. officially. and thank heavens for that. watched 'going the distance' as a make-your-sucky-day-better therapy yesterday. and laughed out loud. planning on eating at the theatre cafe in a little bit. and later? who knows. maybe some gypsy musica?

dark chocolate

being bitter is overwhelming. that's the problem. you can't just be bitter about one thing, exclusively. eventually, the bitterness spills over other areas in your life, stains your point of view, then just takes over like some kind of viral infection. also, the beginnings of life long bitterness are usually undetectable - it starts off as a bad (hair) day, a crappy week, a shitty situation. there's no way out, you're lazy, and, after all, the world owes you that much - to let you lay low, with unfulfilled claims on life.

i find that staying in bed, thoughtless, staring at the white ceiling, and pouting are very helpful devices in indulging one's bitter(er) episodes. but even that, after a while, gets simply boring.